|
wetalktolisten
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Benjamin
Birthday: 8/15/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Videogames, Game Design, Writing, Singing, Music, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Halo, Star Trek, Star Wars, Books, Japanese Cultiure, Manga, comics, short films, CGI, Tak, Invader Zim, Jokes, fun times, dates, guys, Asian Kung Fu Generation
Expertise: photography, writing, singing, art
Occupation: student of game designing
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  cursive34
Member Since:
6/16/2006
|
|
| So I am doing the dance of the slightly grounded ex boyfriend and checking in with Lance every night. Due to how amazing my day has gone, karma mandates that this probation from marriage check in have a negative tone to it. And without fail here is the negative aspect. I am going to witness the oldest mating dance ever, BOOTYCALLS. Lance has decided to invite a stranger named Slag over to the apartment on Tuesday for el bootycall. And he pulled the oldest trick in the book. The i told you about this before crap when in fact he had told me nothing of this. Infact had rejected one of my friends coming over to smoke cigs the day before. Which makes Lance a hypocrite. So i deftly am navigating this conversation to keep Lance calm.
Though now lance is claiming its not a bootycall. I hope not. That would be awkward since Tuesday is my yoga day.
| | |
|  Choke is my new favorite movie
I can\t begin to tell you how right now makes any sense. I could try, but it won't work. My boyfriend is writing smut while Lance is being the second coming of casonova and I'm merely setting up awkward situations to happen all around me. Friends who talk about everyone else keep trying to talk to me and I keep telling them I don't care and they keep being offended. Maybe its the lack of actual events occurring in my life that make me wish I didn't have to hear the negative views on what everyone else is doing with their lives.
Thats not exactly true, I was looking at the glass half empty. Me and Lance sometimes engage in almost fairy tale moments where he's being honest and I'm paying attention. Mike is constantly being the great guy ever present. Overly sensitive but he has alot going on whether he wants to admit it or not.
My job let me go with 30 others for no reason so I am going to the office on Monday to see what my next assignment. A woman from the seventh floor offered me a job doing call center work so I am looking at that as well. The seventh floor is supposed to be this amazing job place where you can do whatever you want. As long as you answer the phone.
So I will finish this blog later
joshua Manson: i'll talk to you tomorrow
joshua Manson: love you
joshua Manson: and good morning
nightfox2386: Laters
joshua Manson: get some sleep sleepy head
joshua Manson: foxcoon's age quicker from insomnia
nightfox2386: It is.
joshua Manson: well i own it
joshua Manson: morning to ya
nightfox2386: Laters, NOW GO!! >.<
I bowled amazingly with Ben and Mike. Scoring numerous strikes. It was awesome.
| | |
| I was never one for dating. I was no good at dating. Thats why I never did it save when I was lonely. Because I always got hurt. It was just that simple, pain came from smiling charming faces so I never engaged in the activity unless desperately lonely. Even then it was for marriage not dating that I dressed properly, leaving my colorful clothes at home for somber ones. Smiles were dyed back to complacent looks you would see on statues. I acted very dignified when in fact I wanted to shout and shake my ass. But ofcourse there is little you can do when trying to make a good impression on someone. So instead I listened listlessly to their dreams for themselves all while knowing that it wasn't going to end well. Maybe they would pick up the check for the coffee.
Then I fell in love with my secret someone. And everything was turned on its ear.My secret someone challenged my weirdness with his own and we laughed in sad movies. Had sex in cars and in bathrooms and kissed like there would be tomorrows. Now he has become one of the dignified ones and I am left following his lead in a dignified relationship. No more flowers arrive from him on my pillow. Then it all came back at once and I don't know how to take it. All the civility of a 1920's gentleman, all the verasity of a porno star, all the love of a person who has come back from the war. I stand beside him acting like this is normal when inside I am turning colors you wouldn't believe.
If I said any of this I would be a conspirator in a conspiracy I don't want to believe is happening. But we have a date on monday for Downtown living. I get to wear the same old cluttered armor i used to wear when he was angry before. Its simple really, he gets mad and lashes out on me. I get to feel his anger like punches on the skin when its the heart beneath that gets hurt. He doesn't understand why I am so sensitive. I tell him, he doesn't want to believe he did what he did or said what he said. So lets play a game of Dragon and the knight. I cut through the flames and the pain to smile with the damsel he turns into.
Stupid Chinese Finger Traps, i always feel like applying pressure instead of relaxing.
Benjamin Hostus
  | | |
| my favorite band is Matmos 
I am in love with them. And want to make music just like they do. | | |
| this xanga stopped feeling good to me so i made a new one. i am not subscribing to anyone and will read your posts and reply via this one but will post here http://www.xanga.com/thenocturnallights
| | |
|
|
